letter of kaye

What makes me human

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 02:22:56 -0700

Is the regurgitating, never failing cycle of the constant loss and consequent finding of self.

And the fact that my iPhone just fell on my face & nailed my nose as I wrote this post.

mindofataurus: Have you ever stayed in a relationship...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 02:14:25 -0700

Have you ever stayed in a relationship (romantic, work related or friendship) that didn’t match what you desired or even deserved in partnership but you stayed hoping that it would change because you saw the potential?

It’s an experience we all have experienced. However, what matters most is the lesson you derive from such an experience. Chasing potential doesn’t assure you that the potential will be reached. It’s not like a 9 to 5 job where you clock in your hours and in return, gain exactly what you expect. Failing to focus on where a person is at, in the here and now, is the most devastating thing you could do. Not only will the relationship be based upon dishonesty, but also you’re essentially failing to accept the person for who they are. Focusing on potential says to the individual, “You are not enough as you, but once you reach what I think you can reach, you will be enough.” That’s a powerful message to send. Additionally, by not honoring someone, you’re not honoring yourself.

As Jada said, potential is the icing on the cake. Build your relationships on the pillars of honesty and respect. Most importantly, accept where you are as an individual. You are exactly where you need to be. Love is a space where judgments and expectations shouldn’t enter. All people can and will be is WHO and what they are. Accept that. If a person decides to transcend and reach greater potentials, when they reach that level they desire, that is who they will be. For now, they are who they are. They are perfect. They are whole. They are complete. And so are you.

Preeeeeach

Photo

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 13:30:08 -0700

Photo

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 13:30:22 -0700

You can no longer tell me that this 3.9 is “just cos...

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 10:12:13 -0700

You can no longer tell me that this 3.9 is “just cos she’s a theatre major” with two management classes and micro&anatomyphys in that mix.

At least I’m still smart.

I was supposed to go grocery shopping for salads and avocados… but instead I bought a very...

Sat, 01 Jun 2013 23:16:11 -0700

I was supposed to go grocery shopping for salads and avocados… but instead I bought a very large margarita and a very large order of nachos with my coworker/best friend. Hashtag: No regrets.

Photo

Sat, 01 Jun 2013 13:30:11 -0700

Fucking Osho. I love this guy. I’ve been warming up with...

Fri, 31 May 2013 13:30:05 -0700

Fucking Osho. I love this guy. I’ve been warming up with his dynamic meditation since freshman year.

If you don’t know him yet, meet him now. Look him up.

His irreverence is breathtaking.

Give me the green light.

Fri, 31 May 2013 09:13:35 -0700

We don’t have to search too hard to find that there is a Nick Carraway, a Jay Gatsby, and -yes- a little bit (maybe a lotta bit) of a Daisy Buchanan in all of us.

2:09 PM confessional/personal peptalk. wsup.

Thu, 30 May 2013 14:24:33 -0700

I know from experience that this is all gonna pass and we’re all gonna laugh about this one day, but right now, as I call this hell, it sucks balls (and not in the good way).

I talk brave, I walk brave, however. Let’s be real. Sometimes, I find that the only thing that gets me out of bed is my dog. And. Sometimes. I just have to sit in a box in the back room at work and cry.

But I emerge a phoenix bitches.

Photo

Thu, 30 May 2013 13:30:53 -0700

imperialmotion: Bruno Mars | Treasure again, not a huge fan of...

Wed, 29 May 2013 10:40:27 -0700

imperialmotion:

Bruno Mars | Treasure

again, not a huge fan of his music, but something about this jackson-esque beat just makes me wanna dance.

i will always blame summer 2009 for teaching me how to build a...

Wed, 29 May 2013 10:40:23 -0700

i will always blame summer 2009 for teaching me how to build a good playlist, a better wardrobe, and the best relationships.

The Inevitable Fall and Subsequent Redemption of Jezabel, the Non-Exalted.

Tue, 28 May 2013 23:15:00 -0700

Life is the shit. In two different ways. It’s the shit as in, “Holy shit, this burrito is the shit!” kind of way. And it’s the shit as in, “Holy shit, fuck this shit, this is shit. Fuck shit up, this shit is fucked” kind of way. Life is the shit, this I know for certain.

These past couple of months (okay, let’s be real, these last four/five years) have been… adventurous. I think I’ve had more mental breakdowns than laundry days. I was (am?) one of those broken people, breaking promises, to find themselves unintentionally breaking hearts. And yet. I’ve survived and have arrived at the other side of the road (literally), scathed and scarred, but always for the better.

Stay tuned for the following ramblings if you to care understand how I can still look myself in the mirror and know that I love myself and have the ability to love and give more beautifully as I continue to make my treks to hell and back.

A Quick Lesson in Statistics (As told by a theatre major) —- The proven way to lie and get away with it.
“Sucking the marrow of life doesn’t mean choking on the bone.” —- Taking a lesson from John Keating’s syllabus.
Poopoo the Savior Complex—- The only saving that should be done in this world is by firefighters, doctors, and you when you’re writing your big graduate thesis.
Say What You Mean. Not What You Feel. —- There is a strong difference between choice and feelings.
Time&Timing Changes Everything. —- The last line of the Serenity Prayer.
Runaway, Love, Runaway. —- Come home only when you miss it.
All About the Benjamins. —- Why would you still want this $100 bill if I ripped it in half? (And don’t say you don’t want it effing liar)
Faith and Valor. —- Embracing the concept of ephemeral gray.
Live a Life of Gratitude. —- How to be happy.

Audio

Tue, 28 May 2013 22:34:41 -0700

Photo

Mon, 27 May 2013 13:30:24 -0700

Miracles.

Mon, 27 May 2013 11:29:18 -0700

Only by the grace of God.

Only by the grace of God did I cross and spin out the entire width of the freeway yesterday morning and be the only car to get into an accident.

Only by the grace of God did I get the railing and didn’t roll over the hill or drop down the bridge.

Only by the grace of God did Raja stay in the passenger seat and not get thrown out the window or crushed.

Only by the grace of God did Raja and I walk out of the car with only sore muscles.

Only by the grace of God did two people, Erica and one man I never got the name of, stop and take care of me and Raja until the medics and CHP arrived. My only regret is never taking their information down so I could properly thank them.

Only by the grace of God was I blessed with friends and family and a roommate who were willing to drop everything and pick me up, bring me food, to work, and help me deal with this.

My life, according to Catholicism, isn’t ideal. In fact, I’m due for a lengthy purging. But despite me inequities, I will always have faith in God and angels. The fact that I’m alive, the fact that Raja is alive is a damn miracle. In spite of all the expenses and mistakes I’ve made, I know that I am truly blessed.

excessunrated: 7313: I’ve been staring at this for days. It’s...

Sun, 26 May 2013 13:30:04 -0700

excessunrated:

7313:

I’ve been staring at this for days. It’s beautiful.

I AM SCREAMING BUT IT IS ALSO REALLY FASCINATING AND KIND OF BEAUTIFUL.

the anatomy student in me can die happy now. HOW IS IT SO PERFECT.

I don’t think anyone will fully understand the Mendoza...

Sun, 26 May 2013 01:41:15 -0700

I don’t think anyone will fully understand the Mendoza legacy until they get to join it n

what-do-i-wear: (image: studded-hearts) Perfectly dressed...

Sat, 25 May 2013 13:30:09 -0700

what-do-i-wear:

(image: studded-hearts)

Perfectly dressed fingers